Monthly Archives: July 2013

The Same-sex Marriage Bill in England and Wales completed its passage into law when the Queen gave it her Royal Assent on Wednesday this week.  It completed its way through Parliament earlier in the week with little or no opposition in the final stages.

The first same-sex weddings in the UK are expected to take place next summer.

As we enter this new chapter in our society, the most important question is whether we can now find language to talk together about marriage, or simply see a hardening of polarised views.

Accepting Evangelicals continues to encourage theological discussion and prayerful reflection on the nature and historical development of marriage.  Some of our members are in favour of same-sex marriage, and some question whether such marriage is theologically possible.  It is now more important than ever to keep talking, reflecting and praying together.

During the often heated public debate over the bill however, there have also been many ill-judged claims have been made by groups opposed to it, most relating to the moral damage which would be caused to society if it became law.

In trying to find a way forward, it is important to recognise that many of these claims are either misguided or misleading and could hamper continuing dialogue.  Below are some of them.

1.  That the introduction of same-sex marriage will devalue marriage for everyone else.

My marriage to my wife is just the same this week, as it was last week.  It is enriched or devalued by the value and commitment we attach to our love and the marriage vows we made before God, not to whether gay people are allowed to get married. This claim is clearly not true.

2.  That same-sex marriage will unpick the moral fabric of society.

This is an impossible claim to defend.  How can marriage vows of lifelong commitment between two people do anything but strengthen the stability of their relationship, and thereby, society as a whole?   David Cameron stated publicly that his support for same-sex marriage was because of Conservative principles not in spite of them, coming out of a desire to strengthen society.

3. That same-sex partnerships are inherently unstable and do not last.

Both the anecdotal evidence of those in relationships of many years and statistical evidence from here and other countries clearly show this to be false.  Civil Partnerships are proving more enduring than marriages in many countries and there is no reason to believe that enabling same-sex couples to marry will weaken this in any way.

4.  That Churches will be forced by law to conduct marriage services for same-sex couples.

The Government has bent over backwards to put in place the ‘triple-lock’ of protections for religious freedom.  No church will be forced to conduct same-sex marriages, and for the Church of England it will be illegal for same-sex marriages to be conducted in churches unless and until the CofE asks for the law to be changed.

5.  That the parliamentary process was undemocratic.

In a free vote for MPs for all three major parties, the bill was passed by a two thirds majority.  In the House of Lords the vote was also 2 to 1 in favour after a very full and lengthy debate with every view being expressed.  Most polls also show public opinion is now in favour of same-sex marriage.  As a result it is arguable that this has been the most democratic bill which has passed through Parliament in recent years.

In moving on from this point in a way which seeks deeper understanding about the nature of marriage, I believe that we need to move beyond these banner grabbing and misleading statements, and look at the meaning, Biblical history and theology of marriage itself if we are to come together in any meaningful way.  Biblical interpretation of the account of Adam and Eve, historical development in the Bible and since, and theological reflection on the metaphor of the Church as the Bride of Christ should be our focus as we continue to journey together.

At the same time, it also has to be recognised that the Bill does not give many gay Christians what they really want.  One lesbian Christian said to me recently that the same-sex marriage bill will make very little difference to her and her partner, because when they celebrated their Civil Partnership, they could not celebrate it in church, and even with same-sex marriage, they will not be able to celebrate their marriage in their church.  It is celebrating their partnership in church before God which is most important to them, and that will still be denied them.  The task of finding a way to celebrate faithful committed same-sex partnerships in church must never be far from our mind.

Over the months ahead, before the first same-sex wedding in the UK, we would do well to recognise the valid aspirations of those who want to be married and the genuine concerns of others.  Only then will we all find a way to celebrate the love which brings couples to want to be joined in marriage while never discounting those for whom this still throws up theological questions and problems.

Benny Hazlehurst

So how did I come to be walking through the streets of London, wearing a rainbow ribbon, handing out leaflets and eventually carrying a banner for Accepting Evangelicals? Several days on and I’m still pondering that question. Only a few close friends even know that I’m gay and now I seem to have made a very public stand, albeit in a city far away from where I live, but I discovered something quite unexpected somewhere in the middle of the West End: a sort of ‘road to Piccadilly’ experience.

This is all about Pride, so let’s talk about that: I’ve never been proud to be gay. In fact, I’ve spent the best years of my life trying to avoid it, hide it – never actually denying it (except often to myself), but certainly only entrusting the secret to a select few. That’s the first thing that happened somewhere around Selfridges: suddenly I felt at home – at home with my sexuality, at home with those marching around me, at home with the cheering crowds lining Oxford Street. I was experiencing the enormous groundswell of good will towards Pride expressed by the people of our capital city – these were crowds not made up predominantly of activists or fellow LGBT people, but a real cross-section representing London’s diversity in all its forms. The most mind-blowing thing to be honest was seeing whole families enjoying an afternoon together watching the spectacle and soaking up the atmosphere. For the first time I felt proud to be part of this phenomenon – proud of Pride and, yes, proud to be gay!

But a more significant thing needed to happen. For a number of years I have felt less and less proud of being a Christian. Since accepting Christ in my twenties, I have always held the Bible to be the basis of my faith, yet I seemed to be increasingly unable to reconcile what I was taught about the ‘sin’ of homosexuality with the pastoral needs of the gay and bisexual guys I was trying to reach out to, let alone the witness of the Spirit in my own life. Worse than this, I felt increasingly ashamed of the Church’s treatment of LGBT issues, and most importantly LGBT people, who were being written off by those who claim to offer the Gospel to all, yet effectively deny it to those (God’s mistakes?) created with a different sexuality to the fortunate majority. Recently, I decided to look at the Bible afresh and began to realise that the traditionalist interpretation on homosexuality is deeply flawed and inconsistent with both the holistic Gospel message and the experience of those like myself who are quite undeniably gay by nature and equally undeniably Christian by conviction.  In making steps towards being part of the solution, rather than part of the problem, my tentative public support of like-minded evangelicals led to me having to step down from leadership in my local church, but at least I was beginning to reclaim some of the integrity I had sacrificed by keeping silent.

So what happened there at Pride?  I believe I turned a corner, and I don’t mean when we swung right into Regent Street, though it might have been somewhere in that vicinity! For the first time in more years than I care to admit, I felt proud to be a Christian again. I’m not sure that I was expecting hostility, though of course I’m aware that there is plenty of that coming from some who claim their particular version of the truth, but I certainly wasn’t expecting the warmth, encouragement and affirmation of the crowd. Amongst the casual bystanders just caught up in the party atmosphere were those who clearly understood what a big deal it is to make a stand on the ‘gay issue’ as a Christian, facing up to the backlash that can bring. I didn’t expect to be cheered, as we were, and I certainly didn’t expect a young man in the crowd to reach out his hand and, although I had nearly gone past, call me over to shake my hand and say, “Thank you!”  That’s when I saw the flash of light and heard a voice from heaven – OK, not quite, but it was certainly a much-needed personal epiphany.

So I find I am newly proud to be gay, proud to be a Christian, proud of my LGBT brothers and sisters in Christ and those who are straight but taking a stand on this all the same. I’m proud of London for hosting and enthusiastically joining the celebration and perhaps most of all I’m proud of the young man who shook my hand – a representative of a generation who may one day live to forget what the fuss was all about.

Richard D.